Since I’ve been gone awhile, but am now beginning to ramp things back up here on the blog, I wanted to take the time to give you some updates on the blog and on my life. Because I love talking about myself!
Just kidding.
Long story short, I had a low couple of months during which my motivation tanked… here on the blog, and elsewhere in my life. I’m no stranger to highs and lows, having battled depression in the past. Thankfully, I’m finding my feet again post-election season. It kind of sucks that this had to happen during the gap year I took to focus on writing and getting my life sorted out, but I’ve reached a point where I know that I cycle through mini-depressive and hypo-manic episodes several times a year, so it’s all somewhat expected.
The good news about my depressive episodes now (if such a thing exists)? I’m not suicidal to the extent I was in younger years, I still take some steps to ensure I get proper self-care, and I still have enough energy to maintain a job and friendships. Plus, I have an action plan in place in case things ever get out of control.
It’s always been a major goal of mine to remain as candid as I deem possible here on the blog, and I’ll probably be talking more about mental health in the months to come. But, in better news, my boyfriend Dylan and I are currently hunting for an apartment, which means that we (plus our corgi Octavia) may soon be living on our own! I’ve always wanted to move out and become more independent, so I’m thrilled that this may be finally panning out for us.
Dylan is currently in school studying game design in an online program, and it’s been really amazing for me to watch him enjoying his college experience. Because he’s the first person I’ve known who actually seems to be enjoying himself! Ouch. I’ll probably be aiming to finish up my degree at Tufts in just one semester when I head back in the fall, because I am totally through with school.
I’m not sure what I’ll do after. My guess is that I’ll work part-time jobs like the one I have now and supplement with online work while working on my writing and the blog. I’ll count myself really lucky if someday I can derive the majority of my income from self-employment. I’ve always had a hard time working in a regimented setting like an office, and I know that this is an unfortunate thing in our modern society. But I’d rather live a poor, honest, and fulfilling life than one that makes me want to bite my own head off.
Anyway, half of this is just helping myself get my thoughts sorted out on the matter, so I hope you don’t mind my ramblings! I’ll probably be talking more about my life moving forward, since I’m finally becoming some kind of an adult and interesting things might happen. In the meantime… I’d love to hear what’s going on in your life! Drop me a line in the comments, say hi, catch up… Let me know what you’d like to see on Voyage of the Mind in the next weeks and months. As always, I’m open to everything. Until next time!
Thank you for talking so frankly about your mental health: I’m so pleased you are feeling a little better and that you benefited from the time out. I’ve battled bouts of depression for more than half my life, and I’ve found sharing my experiences, and hearing those of others, to be remarkably therapeutic. I also live you’re conclusion ‘I’d rather live a poor, honest, and fulfilling life than one that makes me want to bite my own head off.’ I think this is a very wise conclusion to reach!
You’re welcome! I also find it very helpful to share my experiences, so it’s really my pleasure. It’s a continual battle, but I’m glad that I’m feeling better for the moment.
And I’m glad I can seem a little wise even as I keep stumbling along hoping to find the right path. 😊
Welcome back and a very nicely written reintroduction! I would love to read more of your accounts of Ancient Greece if that is still within your intellectual curiosity…failing that, anything that distracts us from these rather uncertain times.
Good luck with finding the right work environment that will enable you to still work creatively and fulfil your commitment to writing. As someone who mostly has held conventional office jobs since my late 20’s, they can be a drain but I think it depends on your personality and of course vocational field. Although I’ve always had a creative side I find I am more motivated and inspired to pursue creative ventures when I have my hum-drum office office routine – I think the financial security of it enables me to feel less afraid to pursue the creative stuff as basically I am not much of a risk taker and the practical side of me quite enjoys the professional challenges that a more traditional work life brings. Having said that I have been increasingly aware of searching for something more meaningful in recent times. I currently work in compliance which although strongly grounded in ‘ethics’ and anti-corruption etc, I just would love to apply it one day to something that feels more instantly meaningful to me. Compliance covers so many sectors and criminal activities, (even wildlife crime as I learned recently), but being honest with myself my passion has always been more focused on the “on the ground” social justice issues and defence of the underdog. However, when I previously worked in non-profit I actually found it very exploitative of its backbone staff and it’s also somewhat contradictorily a very “who you know” type of world from my experience. So my update is I’m going through a process emotionally/intellectually I guess you could say, of determining what value I can bring to something that is of value to me but that still earns me money! I think many people feel slightly conflicted in this way and in some way maybe it’s all part of our existential existence!
I do understand why so many people are turning to blogging and YouTube channels these days also (for genuine reasons, not talking about the self-obsessed influencer types!) and that has been a positive of social media in giving the ‘ordinary’ person a voice and a following and I think we live in times where it’s becoming more important to hear what the fellow citizen has to say in opposition. Whilst the confusion, manipulation and deceit caused by mainstream narratives has always existed, what is happening today is an online rebellion of sorts, for better or for worse. There are the genuinely good voices to hear (like yours!) or there are of course the idiots spreading dangerous conspiracy theories. But it’s interesting to see this culture of activism if you will, in today’s society.
Thanks so much for the comment and the welcome back! I’m really happy to hear from you. I’ll certainly be continuing my series on ancient Greece since there’s SO much more to cover… especially given that my biggest interests lie toward the end.
Life is definitely a balancing act between passion and security, I feel. I’ve definitely gone back and forth over time about how I want to approach the challenge, and I feel very lucky to even have a shot at doing the things I’m passionate about and making some money in the process. I think, like you’ve said, it’s a part of our existential existence that we have to grapple with from time to time, as you’re doing now. I wish you the best of luck in assessing the right direction forward, since it’s such a tough issue to reconcile either way.
I’m so glad that you find what I have to say valuable — thank you so much for your continued support. I think that part of my goal for sharing more about my own life will definitely be to provide a voice of reason and a picture of a relatively ordinary person through my writing, so hopefully I’ll achieve that. I’m also glad that so many ordinary people are sharing their thoughts and experiences. We’re living in a fascinating time, a great time to discuss and document, and I think that’s a big reason why I keep writing about the world I see around me.
It’s great to hear your ramblings! I love them and that actually helps me realize that it’s okay to do the same on my blog. I love learning about people. Congrats on looking for a place, that is so exciting. 🙌🙌 I really think it’s great that you’re talking openly about your mental health and that you knew when to focus on yourself.❤️ I can really relate.
Aw, I’m so glad to hear this. I’ll definitely be updating on both the apartment search and mental health as the days go on… fingers crossed for both. Thanks so much for all your kindness! 😊
Congratulations Laura and thank you for taking part: https://experimentsinfiction.com/2020/11/12/eif-poetry-challenge-8-the-results/ 😊
Wow! It was my pleasure, thank you so much for hosting! 😊