The Dilemma

All I ask is this:
that if I wander down
this dusty road of no return,
you and God,
if God there is,
collaborate
to keep these soleless shoes
on my feet
and this faded shirt
on my back,
and most of all the soundness
in my mind.

All I ask is this:
that these words be a gift
to me and you and to the world,
not a burden.

All I ask is this:
for someone to keep me
on the straight and narrow,
to check me at my best
and love me at my worst
and hold me back
while still expecting more.

All I ask is this:
for a glimpse at the faith
I’ve never had.
Not to pin it down,
but to hold it once in my hands,
even as it slips away like sand.

All I ask is this:
for children who will love me
and children who will care
and children who will
save the world.

But this I ask of you:
are children and a family
compatible with soleless shoes,
a faded shirt, a mind like mine,
and faithlessness?

 

ballerinas in the wings, a line from "Crisis of Confidence"
a skinny woman

Poet’s Notes

I’ve always wanted a family, probably because I grew up in a big family. In this poem, I address some of “the dilemma” that I see between my personality traits and my desire to have a family.

Let me know what you thought about this poem in the comments! I’d love to hear your voice. If you enjoyed this poem, you might also enjoy my reflection on “The Artist’s Quest.”

And thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this poem, I’d really appreciate if you left me a tip on Ko-fi so I can keep creating as much as possible for you.

a man with flowers growing out of his eyes

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